I wrote this on a Sunday night. I was crying..... I wrote this on a little piece of paper.... this explains a lot. this is the product of my sadness and tears
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Why is the world like this?
I feel hurt and pain of all the things revolving this world
Why life is unfair?
why can't you have everything perfect?
I always think one day life will be perfect,
but reality is there is no perfect life.
You'll only find the eternal happiness with God.
It seems like everyone thinks if you have money, friends and loves of their life,
they think their lives are perfect. Sometimes you'll find some empty space in your heart.
In the end, you'll see what's important.

I feel alone, I know that I'm really not alone
but, sometimes the isolation towards me makes me feel alone.
Sometimes, I feel like a piece of paper, after you wrote on it, you'll throw it afterwards
My relationship with my so-called "friends" is like that, after all the things I've done for them
they'll ignore me like some trash.
Before I think these were one of the people who'll really cares about me.
It turns out, I was the only one who needs to give, they receive, and they don't give.
Before, I thought they were the persons who'll be part of my "reasons for living"
Now I learned that my family is the only reason for me to live.
I love them so much.
They are the reason why I'm still surviving this sick world.
I'm willing to go anywhere.
Anywhere but here.

I want to leave
I always wished that I was born and lived in Bicol.
I enjoy there more than here.
I wish I lived in manila, for me to never meet such people here.
I don't think I'll survive this.
I think this isn't the last time i will cry.
I want to reach my goal, only armed with my strength and will.
Will I ever do it? Will I be a lawyer?

Soon I'll enter my 10- month torture, I'll be alone in ten months. A little sacrifice might do the trick. I'll try to live somehow. I want to fast forward my life. I want this to end, this 10 months.
I'll jusy pray to God.
The only people that are important to me is my family.
They are the ones who give me unconditional love, so is my best friend.
I wish somehow, I can escape the ten month hipocrisy torture of my life.
Will I survive?
Will I ever get to leave this place quicker?
Sometimes, you'll meet the weirdest people, then you realize that they have more sense than others.
As I step a new chapter in my life, short but painful, I just have to live with it.
I'll be wishing
It's beautiful to be alive, but it'll turn the other way if i will stay here.

* my S H A T T E R E D dreams_ 5/31/2005 07:34:00 PM